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General Counsel
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What counts as progress at status conference?

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When the clerk stops revising the minute order long enough to blame the patience reserve.

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Paralegals
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"Can you make the deadline chart shorter?" asked Casey.

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"Sure," said the trial paralegal, "right after we stop making the missing signature longer."

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Paralegals
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At the docket tracker, everything about the document mess picks up three new names and one extra paragraph.

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Paralegals
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Nobody at the war room ever says "here." They hand you the deadline chart and transfer full responsibility for the service list.

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